Muffs and Vivisection

Abstract

YOUR correspondent, Mr. H. H. Johnston, of the Zoological Gardens, has offered your readers some “facts,” which, he says, he “knows to be true.” He says that some little time ago I called on “a distinguished member of science”; that “three things were observable in my outward presentments”—to wit, ostrich feathers in my bonnet, a bird of paradise on, or near my muff, and an ivory-handled umbrella; and that the man of science took each of these articles as a text for a rebuke to me for encouraging cruelty. Sir, these “facts” may possibly be “accurate enough for scientific purposes,” like some others which we heard of at Bond Street, last winter, but they have given much merriment to those who happen to be acquainted with my real “outward presentments.” Suffice it to say, that I never paid such a visit as Mr. Johnston describes; never received such a rebuke; never used an ivory-handled umbrella; never wore a bird of paradise, or any other bird, either in or near my muff, or any other portion of my attire; and, finally, having never possessed such an object in my whole life, am driven to think that the only Muff connected with the ridiculous story, must be the person who assures us he “knows” it to be true.